mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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