He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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