Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
