I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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