I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
