it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there's paper in my vomit.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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