and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
