We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
