ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
