i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
