if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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