Your mouth is God's brothel.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
