bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
