Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
