what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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