Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
