I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Small penises have feelings too.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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