i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
