Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
