is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
