Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
