i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
