How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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