If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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