Please, let me fuck your mom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
