On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
40s are totally the cure
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
