Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
