Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
