im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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