Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
