I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
