yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
