Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
