and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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