I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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