i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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