I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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