i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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