I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
