um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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