hell yes lets make some ravioli
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
