If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to make out with him forever
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
