Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
