The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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