I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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