Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
