This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
