"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my poor anus
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
