and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
send nudes
from the living room?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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