i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
