the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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