I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
